Tuesday, August 7, 2012


I enjoy reading a lot of blogs, and I appreciate that women and families can use these outlets to voice their opinions. I don't normally go that route, but I'm going to (for just a minute) today.

Parents make their own decisions for their kids. That's one of the privileges of being a mommy or daddy. You get to decide what's best for your family. I am, frankly, sick and tired of hearing from parents who pat themselves on the back for — and condemn others for not — breastfeeding, co-sleeping, you name it. I've even lost sight of why some people make these choices. Is it so you can brag about it? In some cases, they seem miserable, but they would rather suffer through than admit that another direction may suit their child better. They beat themselves up over being directed by a physician to switch to formula, for example.

Guess what? I chose not to breastfeed. I actually chose not to. Many women try and can't do it, but I never tried. My doctor (a.k.a. the most awesome person in medicine) helped me through the judgement I faced when I was expecting Sydney. She reminded me that if I'm struggling and forcing myself to do something that isn't in my heart, we will both suffer. I finally found a way to ignore the negative speak and just do what I knew was best for us. And I never looked back. The minute she was given her first bottle by her daddy, I was at peace with the decision. I was relaxed, and I was happy... the perfect recipe for fulfilling mommyhood. And the best part is that I've been able to help several mothers who have struggled with this decision. I love that I can help in that way.

Now, onto co-sleeping. Both of our kids were sleeping in their rooms — and completely through the night — by 2.5 or 3 months old. How in the world could that be bad?! I have actually seen mothers write about how parents do not bond with their children as much if they move them into their own spaces too early or break them of middle-of-the-night feedings. Give. Me. A. Break. I feel very bonded with my kids, especially because we all wake up each day rested and ready for quality time together. I'll take that over "quality time" at 2 a.m. any day.

Lastly, I have happily had two epidurals and two c-sections. I don't think doctors are awful people if they suggest a Cesarean. I also don't believe any woman out there is walking around with a golden badge of honor because she opted to suffer through labor with no medicine or chose to go through days of labor instead of having a c-section. Our kids arrived all the same, and I have wonderful memories of mine getting here.

Randall and I do a lot of things right. We do things the ways that seem to work best for Sydney and Collin, the ones that really matter here. And other parents do a lot of things right. Maybe for one second, we could let each other do what we deem necessary to raise happy and healthy children and to enjoy parenthood along the way.

I hope my kids will look back and read this one day and see that they have the right to choose what's best for their families, and I will support whatever they choose as long as it's creating a happy and healthy environment for themselves and their children. If your house is full of love and giggles, I'm all in.

Speaking of love, here are two of mine!


  1. You kids are adorable. I tried to breastfeed with Hayden. It didn't work. I tried briefly with Harper (meaning a day). It also didn't work. So they are both formula babies. It worked for us. They slept in bassinets in our room for a few months and then they went into their own rooms. It worked for us. It's annoying how everyone debates and challenges each other's parenting. As long as the kids are happy and healthy (and the parents too), then I say - so be it!

  2. I hope I'm not one of those people who has made you feel judged for your parenting choices! :( I've loved breastfeeding, but I realize it isn't for everyone. And I never expected to or wanted to co-sleep, but it just kind of happened for us and ended up working. Actually, I feel like I get more judgment for co-sleeping than having Jade in a crib (case in point: Dixie). :) In any case, you are right - if it works for our kids, it's nobody else's business!

    1. Melissa and Jenn - Love your perspectives! And no, you're not one of those people, Jennifer!

      I saw some conversations on Facebook recently that were judgmental of people who don't do those things, so I thought there was no better place to let it all out than on my blog. :)

  3. All I can say is: yes! Let's support & not judge one another!!